Loving Nicole: Savage Brothers MC by Marie Jordan

Author:Marie, Jordan [Marie, Jordan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: romance, MC
Published: 2015-05-30T07:00:00+00:00

Chapter 21

Nicole

Is it possible to function and be dead on the inside? I never really thought about it. Right now, I am thinking about it every minute. I’m forcing myself to go through the motions, but I just want to disappear.

It has been four days. Four long days since I’ve lost Dragon. I can’t sleep, I don’t eat and most days getting dressed is just too big of a chore. I haven’t heard from Michael. I thought I would, especially after Crusher brought Dani home. Yet, there’s not been a word.

Bull has locked the club down. No one is allowed out and very few get through the gates. The families of the men have all piled in and it should be my job to make sure everyone has a bed and the kids are entertained, but I haven’t bothered. Hell, I guess technically it wouldn’t be my job now. It would be whoever Bull designates. Crusher was the VP, but apparently he is not real high with the men of the club right now. He’s also spending every waking minute with Dani.

Dani. Shit. She’s in bad shape. I want to help her, but I can’t even help myself. Carrie and the others have been working with her. They’ll take care of her. I can’t look at Dani. Part of it is guilt, because I should have called off the wedding. A bigger part of it is anger because she brought Michael into my life and it cost me Dragon. I feel ashamed every time I think that, I know I cost Dragon his life. I should have told him from day one about Michael. I should have told him about Dani from the moment we started a relationship, but I didn’t. I didn’t call off the wedding, I didn’t warn Dragon. I didn’t do anything and I am the one who killed Dragon—even if I didn’t plant the bomb.

Will Michael leave us alone now that he’s had a small part of his revenge? I’d like to think so, but I don’t. I know he is just sitting back, biding his time until he strikes again. I should be preparing for that. I’m not.

A light knock on my door brings me out of my thoughts. I don’t make a move to respond or answer. Again, it’s just too much damn effort.

“Nic sweetheart. We need to talk about the funeral,” Carrie says and I curl tighter in the ball I’ve made of myself on the bed. I clutch my stomach. My child shouldn’t hear the word funeral. Little Dragon shouldn’t know he will be denied his father’s touch, his father’s love. It’s wrong!

Oh God, please let me wake up from this nightmare.

“Nic…”

“Get out. Oh God, just get out!”

“Nic, we can’t keep putting it off. I know you’re hurting but…,” she says walking to the foot of my bed. Seeing her doesn’t help at all. What does she know about anything? She still has her man. Her child will still get to know her Dad.

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